What??

3 months! Can you believe it has been 3 months already? Yeah, so can we, because we thought it was forever (rrrrrrr).

Today we had our appointment with our fertility specialist, and we just went to the appointment kind of under the impression more waiting was to come.   I've lost a total of 37 pounds, (17 just since my last appointment at my internal med dr), lowered my blood pressure, and hopefully my A1c which we should know later today!

The news we received at the doctor today was so exciting!  Next lady cycle (which is SOON) we will undergo an ultrasound on Day 3 to check for a follicle, and if present, we have chosen to try IUI (insemenation)!!!!

The process is finally finally starting to make big huge progress!  We are so excited after our appointment today and ready to see what God has in store for us!! Please keep us in your prayers as you have and I'll update when we have more news!!

Yay! 

Rachel and Jamie

Sugar and Dye

..and everything nice right? Since my last post I've had two doctors appointments and a procedure. 

I saw the fertility doctor on May 20th. It was then I had some reservations about my doctor.  Anyone who has had weight issues {their entire life} will know what I was told is not healthy. I am being sent to a weight management clinic {which I am excited about!!} to learn what my body needs and to get some help! I am super excited about this. However the bit of shocking news I received is my fertility dr wants me to loose 61 pounds. No problem right? Oh! In ***3*** months??? 

I've really had to take a step back emotionally from this and think about this process diplomatically. I want nothing more than to have a healthy pregnancy to have a healthy baby. I'm not so sure I care to stress my body out so much. It was then I decided to make long term health changes. Cutting out sugar and carbs, exercising daily, and making overall a long term goal, not 3 months, because I want to keep the weight off if I'm going to loose it. Not drastically cut it out to gain it back 3 months following.

Yesterday I had my HSG procedure. I've been on 48 hours of bedrest as the dye went somewhere it wasn't supposed to, and the findings found my left tube to be pristine and the right tube to be abnormal and blocked.  

This morning I received my hormone blood tests back which all came back normal so overall everything is looking really good.  The dr is set to review the HSG findings and get back to me by Friday. 

I think this process has been nothing but positive, in the sense that I have been able to find out what's going on with me to make me want to sleep all the time and to feel wiped out.  Making little changes has lead to big changes and I can feel a huge difference.  More than anything I have learned to follow my heart, and while this process is different for everyone, I have to follow my heart and listen to Gods direction, which ultimately may not be in the drs timing or ours for that matter.  Prayer has done our heart wonders and has lead our souls through storms we never knew we could weather.

Hope you are having a great week!

Rachel

Waiting Game

The waiting game is not my favorite game.  Especially when it's been a month... All I can do is wait.  Still no visitor, so no HSG test.  With a negative blood test, were waiting to see if the Provera brings said visitor and if not we will take another blood test to see if there is a little one already present. 

While I've been waiting I'm currently up to day 7 on Chantix.  Tomorrow is quit day!  Very nervous and excited as I do not care for the feeling my feet have left the ground but excited to be done done done with these stupid things.

My glucose monitor arrived on Monday.  Poke. Poke. Poke.  Here we go!

My appointment is on Tuesday! More to come soon!

Rachel

Moving right along

Blood tests are fun! {no} On Thursday though, the visitor was still MIA and is still, so I went for a blood pregnancy test, which then returned negative.  Next week I will begin taking Provera to induce the visitor so I can get my chicken pox shot as well as have my HSG done.

The exciting news ahead, is today, I went to see my psychiatrist and we made a few changes and added a BIG change! 

This is what I have been waiting for, for two weeks! Luckily my insurance covers it so I feel very thankful as this kit is upwards of $500 big ones!  I've heard a lot of great things and a few horror stories but I am so excited so that usually helps with the side effects.

I'm not sure any side effects could be much worse than the episode I had last night through the night.  I bloated from the metformin and I felt like my skin was going to rip.  I stayed up all night chugging water and prune juice and managed to get it under control somewhat.  I tier up one more pill starting tomorrow and then it can level out in my system! 

I believe I'm up to 7 drs now so for fun here is the inside of some of the offices!  They're beautiful!

I have to take a moment to gloat though on my husband.  He has been an absolute team player with me and is not only cutting out sugar and gluten but also smoking!

Chat soon!

Rachel

Referrals and whining and referrals

Do you ever start walking on a rugged path and immediately search for smooth pavement? Yeah. That is me right now. Emotionally, on a scale of 1-10, I'll give myself a 6. {ok, maybe a 5}. Lots of news came this week. My ever so persistent "visitor" is M.I.A.  With that said, we are currently awaiting day 35, of which I will then either a.) be graced with "her" appearance or b.) I'll go in Friday for an "induction" of sorts to make her visit.  This has prolonged the start of the birth control pills as well as the HSG test, but I am learning patience. {while whining}

Today I had my appointment with my  advanced fetal medicine nurse for my high blood pressure.  To keep it {the complaining} to a minimum, the Dr. was extremely cold. She talked extremely low and I had to ask her several times to repeat herself, and she kept admiring my curves, in an awesomely judgemental way. {high five lady! Awesome super skinny metabolism} needless to say, I have documented my experience to talk with my fertile specialist to see if possibly I could speak with a dr that would keep the judgements at bay, quit repeating still birth over and over and actually sign on to help me with this battle, both feet in.  I do not need someone to tell me I'm overweight, or have hypertension or even diabetes. DUH! That's why I'm in your office. What I do need is a both feet in action plan.  I'm all or nothing and the nothing isn't helping. {end rant}

My next appointment is Friday with my psychiatrist to obtain the medications he can help me with maintenance to quit smoking for once and for all.  Truth is, big truth here, I've his behind smoking since I lost Madilyne.  In uncomfortable situations, I lit up.  Stressed?  I lit up.  Anxiety? I lit up.  I'm so over smoking and everyone telling me to quit but not offering help or solutions.  Trust me, I have to conquer this and for once and for all I have all the resources I need.  I HATE smoking.  It stinks, makes me feel horrible.  I cannot, cannot handle the mental detachment without medication.  I've tried, 13 times to quit, and I'm so over loosing my wits in the process.

The good news up and coming, I have an appointment with our fertility dr May 20th and a reproductive endocrinologist June 18th!  I've also been referred to an Internal Medicine physician for June 2nd to help me get this blood pressure down!!   I've lost 14 pounds already, and got my sugar down to 126!!!!!  Progress and only been on the wagon for 3 weeks!

I'm well aware this post is whiny, bitchy, whatever words you may choose to call it, but know I always look to the positive, this being if I am to carry our child, we want myself and baby uber healthy and that is what we shall have!!  

Ready to climb more mountains with y'all soon!

Rachel

Side Effects

Not much to update as of yet. I started metformin last Friday as you know, and I've noticed a lot of really good side effects.  Many were reporting some violent side effects but for me I'm having great side effects really!

Suffice to say, I have not upped my intake just yet so that could change, however in less than one week I'm down 11 pounds, and I'm feeling so much more human! I haven't felt this good in years to be honest!  Most days if battle fatigue like it was a war battle, not anymore! 

Yes it is true, when one takes this medicine there are tummy aches and other obscenities, but for the most part it has been really good to me and I feel ready to take it up a notch.

Less than a week away I will begin taking birth control as well, and get my vaccine for chicken pox, and we will have to wait 30 days before the actual treatments will begin, just to be safe as the chicken pox vaccine could be harmful if we were to get pregnant in those first 30 days. Either way, the time is putting along and we will be started in our treatment in no time!

Have a great week!

Jamie and Rachel

The good the bad the ugly

Hello there!

Today has been a really emotional day. I have to be honest here to say I continually talked myself out of posting this, because my pride might be a little bruised.  Then I prayed, and you know, you can't go anywhere in life if you don't grow, so here I go.

We got the test results back today! There is a lot of good news that came back from these tests! Such as there are no issues what so ever with Jamie, my thyroid levels are spot on, I haven't had chicken pox, so I shall be vaccinated very soon against ever getting them, and I now know my blood type. 

The not so pleasant news, my AMH level is 0.61 {egg count}, and I have been welcomed with open arms into the early stages, slightly borderline of diabetes.  The AMH levels do not concern the dr too much, as with age it slowly declines, and with PTSD, and the stress with that, I am at an, ok place.

Was the diabetes a surprise? No. Let's be real for this, my mother has fought diabetes for many many years, and I haven't made the best of choices health wise with life often driving itself. There are no excuses. Just the fact that my A1C level came in at 7.6 which is a combined 120 days, which translates to eAG of 154. 

Less than one hour following the call with my doctors nurse, I had in my hand my newly prescribed metformin. I will start with 500mg 1x per day for 7 days, then tier up until I am taking 1500mg per day.

I have a pending appointment with an endocrinologist, and in about 10 days I will have my vaccine for chicken pox and we will have a 30 day wait time in which no fertility treatments will be given, to protect the chance of getting pregnant as that would be a horrible instance for the fetus.

The truth of the matter, I haven't wanted to change more physically than I do right now. The side effects of metformin have been, violent but manageable, and I am sure there is more to come. Operation healthy baby maker in progress!

I know I talked to so many today and I love all of you so much, and I know when I spoke with you, I may or may not have said I feel like I have failed. As you can imagine, he does not feel this way and has grabbed my face, kissed me about a bajillion times today, and assured me that this isn't the end, but the beginning of something super amazing.  

Now we prepare to move mountains!

Rachel