Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Referrals and whining and referrals

Do you ever start walking on a rugged path and immediately search for smooth pavement? Yeah. That is me right now. Emotionally, on a scale of 1-10, I'll give myself a 6. {ok, maybe a 5}. Lots of news came this week. My ever so persistent "visitor" is M.I.A.  With that said, we are currently awaiting day 35, of which I will then either a.) be graced with "her" appearance or b.) I'll go in Friday for an "induction" of sorts to make her visit.  This has prolonged the start of the birth control pills as well as the HSG test, but I am learning patience. {while whining}

Today I had my appointment with my  advanced fetal medicine nurse for my high blood pressure.  To keep it {the complaining} to a minimum, the Dr. was extremely cold. She talked extremely low and I had to ask her several times to repeat herself, and she kept admiring my curves, in an awesomely judgemental way. {high five lady! Awesome super skinny metabolism} needless to say, I have documented my experience to talk with my fertile specialist to see if possibly I could speak with a dr that would keep the judgements at bay, quit repeating still birth over and over and actually sign on to help me with this battle, both feet in.  I do not need someone to tell me I'm overweight, or have hypertension or even diabetes. DUH! That's why I'm in your office. What I do need is a both feet in action plan.  I'm all or nothing and the nothing isn't helping. {end rant}

My next appointment is Friday with my psychiatrist to obtain the medications he can help me with maintenance to quit smoking for once and for all.  Truth is, big truth here, I've his behind smoking since I lost Madilyne.  In uncomfortable situations, I lit up.  Stressed?  I lit up.  Anxiety? I lit up.  I'm so over smoking and everyone telling me to quit but not offering help or solutions.  Trust me, I have to conquer this and for once and for all I have all the resources I need.  I HATE smoking.  It stinks, makes me feel horrible.  I cannot, cannot handle the mental detachment without medication.  I've tried, 13 times to quit, and I'm so over loosing my wits in the process.

The good news up and coming, I have an appointment with our fertility dr May 20th and a reproductive endocrinologist June 18th!  I've also been referred to an Internal Medicine physician for June 2nd to help me get this blood pressure down!!   I've lost 14 pounds already, and got my sugar down to 126!!!!!  Progress and only been on the wagon for 3 weeks!

I'm well aware this post is whiny, bitchy, whatever words you may choose to call it, but know I always look to the positive, this being if I am to carry our child, we want myself and baby uber healthy and that is what we shall have!!  

Ready to climb more mountains with y'all soon!


  1. Not whiny or bitchy at all! You absolutely have the right to request another doctor. I do feel that it's important for a doctor to voice all his or her concerns, but TACT plays a large part in that. It sounds like you are making some amazing progress! One day at a time, lady! You'll get there!


  3. That is not whiny or Bitchy that is normal sweetie you are on a roller coaster ride of your life and you are doing Amazing. And the whole doctor thing I understand some of the points but you also have to have bedside manners as well .And the smoking thing is all just a crutch and you have Jamie and all of us its time to drop that crutch and you well walk with your head held high I to use to smoke and you will do it because your ready to this time for well reason .Best of News on up coming appts.